What happens when you have three writers who are friends, have ADHD, OCD, and anxiety, and are perpetually trying to get organized—oh, and one of whom owns dogs that don't bark?

You get Barkless Dog Press. Lyra is the queen of Norse mythology retellings, Cait dabbles in Greek mythology and will eventually publish another book, and Malone? She just crosses all the genres because she was told not to . . . and, honestly, the world needs a vampire-space-opera-adventure-romance-fantasy-science fiction series.

We're also full of rage and frustration because there's too much to do, and most planners are way too positive about the ability to get it all done. Forget trying to organize our everyday lives. Try organizing the lives—and worlds—of multiple characters across multiple drafts, especially when they don't want to be orderly and well-behaved.

And because we're here to help, we want to banish toxic positivity and usher in the age of productive negativity. Do we sound dark? You're right. We laugh at the things our mothers told us not to, make dirty-ish jokes like pros, and choose humor over tears because fixing eye makeup is a bitch.

Check us out on Amazon, our own store (coming soon!), YouTube, and Etsy. We've got all the usual socials, so follow along . . . or not, because who's got time? (We do a lot of puppy videos though, so there is that.)

You'll love us (and our books) if:

• You have unresolved rage at your parents.

• You're tired of having to do 102% of the work in your house.

• If that power career or stay-at-home thing isn't cracked up to be all you were promised.

• You love cute puppies.

• You love cute vampires.

• You love cute Loki.

• You love (at your own risk) Zeus, Hades, and the other Greek gods.

• Your religion is "Don't be a dick."

• You believe that vampires belong in space.

• You've ever failed at making cupcakes from a Pinterest recipe.

• You were chucked out of art school.

• You were told you'd never be a good writer.

• You were promised that Franklin Covey organizers would make everything easier (but we still like Filofax).

• You have a soft spot for blood-sucking interstellar chumps.